| A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. -Chauncey Mitchell Depew |
| I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know. -Garry Shandling |
| It's the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time. -Tallulah Bankhead |
| Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb. -Yul Brynner |
| A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials. -Ronald Knox |
| I was told that when you hit forty men stop looking at you. It's true, until you slip on a mini-skirt. -Mariella Frostrup |
| We all worry about the population explosion, but we don't worry about it at the right time. -Arthur Hoppe |
| When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. -Albert Einstein |
| A girl's legs are her best friends...but even the best of friends must part. -Redd Foxx |
| Graze on my lips, and if those hills are dry, Stray lower where the pleasant fountains lie. -William Shakespeare |