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60 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wooly hats. Michigan people sunbathe.
50 above - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Michigan people plant gardens.
40 above - Italian cars won`t start.
Michigan people drive with the windows down.
32 above - Distilled water freezes.
Lake Michigan`s water gets thicker.
20 above - Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Michigan people have the last cookout before it gets cold.
15 above - New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
Michigan people throw on a sweatshirt.
0 degrees - Californians fly away to Mexico.
Michigan people throw on a light jacket over the sweatshirt.
20 below - People in Miami cease to exist.
Michigan people get out their winter coats.
40 below - Hollywood disintegrates.
Michigan Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
60 below - Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica.
Michigan`s Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
80 below - Mount St. Helen`s freezes.
Michigan people rent some videos.
100 below - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Michigan people get frustrated when they can`t thaw the keg.
297 below - Microbial life survives on dairy products.
Michigan cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 below - ALL atomic motion stops.
Michigan people start saying. . ."Cold `nuff for ya??"
500 below - Hell freezes over.
The Detroit Lions win the Super Bowl.
Keep Smiling.......It Makes the World A Brighter Place
- Proposing! At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage.
- You are the next! When was younger I hated going to weddings... it seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, `You`re next.`
- THE RABBIT, THE FOX AND THE WOLF: A FABLE One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the weather. The day was so nice that the rabbit became careless, so a fox sneaked up to her and caught her.
- The Man On The Ladies Tee It was a sunny Saturday morning on the course and I was beginning my preshot routine on #1, visualizing my upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse oudspeaker.
- No wonder English is difficult to learn: We polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
