| An elderly couple died in a car crash. She was 82 and he was 87 years old. While alive, the wife had always been very health conscious regarding what they ate. When they arrived at heaven they were shown to a luxurious accommodation. There was a garden and a professional standard golf course. At the far side of the golf course was the Club house serving free food and drinks 24 hours a day. The club also accomodated satellite TV, snooker tables and cabaret entertainment. A short stroll from the club house was a never-ending golden beach which was always well attended by lovely bronzed naked women. The man turned to his wife and said, "You dozy cow... if it wasn't for you and your bloody health food I could have been here 20 years ago!" |
| A man goes to consult a specialist about his medical problem. After the visit the man asks, "How much do I owe you?" "My fee is five hundred dollars," replies the physician. "Five hundred dollars? That's impossible. No one charges that much!" "In your case," the doctor replies, "I suppose I could adjust my fee to three hundred." "Three hundred dollars? For one visit? Ridiculous." "Well, then, could you afford two hundred?" "Who has that kind of money?" "Look, replies the doctor," growing irritated, `Just give me fifty bucks and get out." "I can give you twenty says the man. Take it or leave it." "I don't understand you," says the doctor. "Why did you come to the most expensive doctor in New York if you have no money?" "Listen, Doctor," says the patient, "When it comes to my health, nothing is too expensive." |