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A panhandling bum is walking along in the theater district just around matinee time.
The streets are crowded with people rushing to get in to their shows. The bum sees a well dressed man walking along and goes up to him and asks, "Sir, can I borrow a quarter?"
The man stops and says in a very dignified tone, "Neither a borrower nor a lender be! - William Shakespeare."
The bum looks back at the man and says, "Up yours, you cheap bastard - John Johnson."
- Employee Benefits A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employee`s pay...
- Call of Nature One day during school, a 2nd grade teacher was in the middle of a math lesson. Suddenly a little girl named Susie stood up and yelled, "Teacher, teacher! Can I go to the potty, I have to pee...
- What Marriage Teaches You On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration...
- Expensive Fish Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune...
- Marriage Announcement "Mom, dad, sit down. I have something very important to tell you," said Samantha, upon her return home from college after graduation. "I met a guy who lives near the college that I really like and...
