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A robust-looking gentleman ate a large meal at an expensive restaurant and topped it off with some fine wine, and then he summoned the headwaiter.
“Do you recall,” he asked pleasantly, “how a year ago, I ate just such a wonderful meal here and then, because I couldn’t pay for it, you had me thrown into the alley like a beggar?”
“I’m very sorry sir…” began the contrite headwaiter.
“Oh, it’s quite all right.” said the guest, “but I’m afraid I’ll have to trouble you again…”
- Season Pass On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students...
- Keep your mouth shut A woman goes to the doctor, and she's beaten black and blue. Doctor: "What happened?" Woman, "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my boyfriend comes home drunk he knocks lumps out of me...
- Something wrong In an Anglican church, each service begins with a greeting.
The officiating clergyman says, "The Lord be with you."
The congregation used to respond by saying, "And with thy spirit." - Blonde Secretary "Did you hear what happened?" Jim asked when he saw me walking down the hallway at work.
"Hear what?" I asked, my curiosity peaked.
"The regional vice president died this morning... - Flying Turtle Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground....
