-
With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.
"May I see the new baby?" I asked
"Not yet," She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first."
Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, "May I see the new baby now?"
"No, not yet," She said.
After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, "May I see the baby now?"
"No, not yet,"' replied my friend.
Growing very impatient, I asked, "Well, when can I see the baby?"
"WHEN HE CRIES!" she told me.
"WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?"
"BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, OK?!!!"
- Attention Deficit Disorder I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that...
- Why don't men ever listen? A man bought a kitten and tried to teach it to speak. Everyday for six years he taught it the alphabet. For hours and hours he`d say to the cat, "Repeat after me..." and then he would say a word, or a sentence...
- Crab That Walks Straight A crab and a lobster are secretly dating. Pretty soon, the lobster tires of the lying and tells her father, who then forbids her to see the crab anymore. "It`ll never work, honey." he says to her. "Crabs walk sideways...
- All Quacked Up An American tourist was visiting a small village in Ireland when there was a sudden gust of wind which blew his hat off into the middle of a nearby pond. Walking over to the village idiot, who was sitting beside the pond...
- I Gave at the Office Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling: moments later a sheet of snow came crashing...