-
His and Her ATM usage explained:
HIS 1. Pull up to ATM
2. Insert card
3. Enter PIN number and account
4. Take cash, card and receipt
HER 1. Pull up to ATM
2. Check makeup in rearview mirror
3. Shut off engine
4. Put keys in purse
5. Get out of car b/c you re too far from machine
6. Hunt for card in purse
7. Insert card
8. Hunt in purse for wrapper with PIN number written on it
9. Enter PIN number
10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes.
11. Hit "cancel"
12. Re-enter correct PIN number
13. Check balance
14. Look for envelope
15. Look in purse for pen
16. Make out deposit slip
17. Endorse checks
18. Make deposit
19. Study instructions
20. Make cash withdrawal
21. Get in car 22. Check makeup
23. Look for keys 24. Start car
25. Check makeup 26. Start pulling away
27. STOP 28. Back up to machine
29. Get out of car
30. Take card and receipt
31. Get back in car 32. Put card in wallet
33. Put receipt in checkbook
34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook
35. Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook 36. Check makeup
37. Put car in gear, reverse
38. Put car in drive
39. Drive away from machine
40. Travel 3 miles
41. Release parking brake
- Hats off! A Marine walks in the restroom and sees a Sailor standing at the urinal, fussing with the thirteen buttons on his pants.
The Marine says, 'It must be a pain in - Santa`s Gifts (Santa Claus) As a little girl climbed onto Santa s lap, Santa asked the usual, 'And what would you like for Christmas ?'
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: 'Didn`t - Jewish Rules Jewish Rules 1. Never take a front-row seat at a bris.
2. If you can t say something nice, say it in Yiddish.
3. The High Holidays have nothing to do with marijuana.
4. Always whisper the names of diseases.
and many more..... - Landing Problem Once Santa and Banta try to land an airplane in the States. They start descending and as they touch the ground Santa screams, the runway is ending...'.
Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air... They make a big turn and start descending again. The moment they touch the ground, Santa screams again 'Get the plane up, the runaway is ending - Safe custoday Once a divorce case was being settled in court and the Judge asked the little kid of the couple, 'Little boy, would you like to stay with your father!'The kid said, 'No he beats me everyday!'The judge asked him, 'So you want to stay with...