| The Policeman had stopped the man for obvious drunken driving, but since the guy had a clean record, he made him park the car and took him home in the patrol car. "Are you sure this is your house?" the cop asked as they drove into a rather fashionable neighborhood. "Shertainly!" said the drunk, "and if you'll just open the door f'me, I can prove it to ya." The police officer followed the man as he shakily negotiated the stairs to the second floor. The drunk pushed open the first door they came to. "Thish ish my bedroom," he announced. "Shee the bed there? Thast mine! Shee that woman lying in the bed? Thash my wife. An' see that guy lying next to her? "Yeah?" the cop replied suspiciously. Beginning at this point to seriously doubt the man's story. "Well, thash me!" |
| A guy dials his home phone from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don't have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house." "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Um...she's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband." The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make 25,000 bucks?" "What do I have to do?" "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she is with." The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by two gunshots.The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?" "Throw them in the swimming pool!" "What! There's no pool here?" "Uh... is this 2263841?" |
Beautiful Models Santa and Banta were looking at a catalog and admiring the models. Santa says to the Banta, "Have you seen the beautiful girls... 
Most Famous Man One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man... 
Finest Bat Once upon a time Dracula decided to carry some sort of a competition to see which is the finest bat to stand on his side. So all the bats were honored... 
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