| An old Italian Mafia Don is dying, so he calls his grandson to his bed. "Grandson, I wanna you lissin to me. I wanna for you to take my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me." "But grandpa, I really don't like guns, ... how about leaving me your Rolex watch instead." "You liste to me. Some day you gonna be runna da bussiness, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big home and maybe a couple of bambini. Am I right?" "Yes grandpa, I guess so." "Ok, so soma day you gonna coma home and maybe finda you wife in bed with another man. Whada you gonna do then? Pointa to da watch and say, TIMES UP!" |
| Little Johnny's father was a pastor in a small church. One day, his father told Little Johnny that a very important bishop was coming and that he would be staying with them. Little Johnny became very excited and asked his father if he would get to meet him. His father thought about this and decided that he would let Little Johnny bring the bishop tea in the morning and wake him up. Little Johnny agreed to do this and was very excited. His father gave him instructions: first, knock on the door of the bishop’s room and then say to him, "It's the boy, my Lord, it's time to get up." Little Johnny was very excited and rehearsed his lines repeating them over and over. Finally the day came and Little Johnny had learned all his lines. He went to the door and knocked. He was so excited and nervous though that his lines got mixed up and the boy said, "It's the Lord, my boy, and your time is up!" |
| An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls for his grandson to approach the bed, "Lissin a me... I wanna you to taka my chrome plated 38 calibre revolver so you always remember me." The grandson smiles weakly and replies, "But Grandpa, I really donna lika guns. Howz about you leave me you ROLEX watch instead?" Gasping for the air, the old man answers with snarl in his voice, "Shuddup and lissin! Somma day you gonna runna da business. You gonna have a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a biga home, and maybe... a couple of bambinos." After a slight pause to catch his breath, he continues, "Somma a day you gonna comma home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man... Whaddya gonna do then... pointa to your ROLEX and say: Time's up?!?!" |