A guy dies and wakes up to find he is in hell. He`s really depressed as he stands in the processing line waiting to talk to an admittance counselor. He thinks to himself `I know I lead a wild life but I wasn`t that bad. I never thought it would come to this.` Looking up he sees that it is his turn to be processed into hell. With fear and a heavy heart, he walks up to the counselor.
counselor: What`s the problem, you look depressed?
Guy: Well, what do you think? I`m in hell.
counselor: Hell`s not so bad, we actually have a lot of fun. Do you like to drink?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Counselor: Well then, you are going to love Mondays. On Mondays we drink up a storm. You can have whisky, rum, tequila, beer, whatever you want and as much as you want. We party all night long. You`ll love Mondays. Do you smoke?
Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Counselor: You are going to love Tuesdays. Tuesday is smoke day. You get to smoke the finest cigars and best cigarettes available anywhere. And you smoke to your heart`s desire without worrying about cancer because you are already dead! Is that great or what? You are going to love Tuesdays. Do you do drugs?
Guy: Well in my younger days I experimented a little.
Counselor: You are going to love Wednesdays. That`s drug day. You can experiment with any drug you want and you don`t have to worry about overdoses or getting hooked because you are already dead. You are going to love Wednesdays. Do you gamble?
Guy: Yes, I love to gamble. counselor: You are going to love Thursdays because we gamble all day and night -- black jack, craps, poker, slots, horse races, everything! You are going to love Thursdays. Are you gay?
Guy: Well, no I`m not.
Counselor: Oh , you`re gonna hate Fridays...