A scottish colonel walks into a chemist, goes to the counter and hands over a small wooden box.
The chemist opens it and finds an old condom with a hole in it.
The colonel says, "How much to repair it?"
The chemist says, "70p I guess."
The colonel says, "How much for a new one."
The chemist replies, "Pound 1."
The scotsman walks back outside and a few seconds later there is a loud cheer followed by a louder cheer. The colonel walks back inside and says, "The battalion has decided, we'll take a new one."