| Right in the middle of lovemaking, the husband dies of a heart attack. As the funeral arrangements are being made, the mortician informs the widow that he cannot get rid of her dead husband`s rigor mortis hard-on which is sticking straight up in the air and if they don`t do something, it will look odd in the coffin at the funeral. The widow tells the guy to cut it off and stick it up her dear departed`s behind. The mortician can`t believe his ears but the widow is adamant, so he does it. During the funeral, friends and relatives of the dead man were concerned to see a tear in the corner of his eye, but the widow assured them that there was no cause to be alarmed. Just before the casket is closed, the widow leans in and whispers in the dead man`s ear, "It HURTS, doesn`t it?" |
| One night a wino was wandering the streets looking for a place to sleep for the night. He was so tired that he ended up crashing in the parking lot of a gay club. That night two drunk patrons are walking to their car and see the wino crashed out by the back dumpster. They walk over to him, flip him over and start doing him up the ass. When they are done they slip $10 in his pocket and walk away. The next morning the wino wakes up and finds $10 in his pocket. He rushes over to the nearest liquor store and says, "Give me $10 of your cheapest liquor!" The clerk obliges. That night he falls asleep in the same parking lot. At the end of the evening the same two patrons walk out of the bar and see him again. They walk over to him, flip him over and start doing him in the ass, but this time they leave $20 for him. The next morning the wino finds the money and goes to the same liquor store and says, "Give me $20 of your best liquor." The clerk looks at him and says, "You could get more if you get the cheap stuff." The wino replies, "I know, but that cheap shit makes my ass hurt." |