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Hal is petrified of girls, so he asks his friend Lenny how he meets so many nice chicks.
Lenny says, "I have a surefire method to feel them out. I go up behind a girl and whisper, `Tickle your ass with a feather?`If she smiles or laughs, I know she has a sense of humor, we chat, and it all happens naturally. Try it."
The next night, nervous but desperate, Hal goes to a very crowded bar, and sits in the corner, stewing, nursing a drink, getting more uptight every second. Finally, he walks up behind the nicest girl in the place, and after a few minutes of stammering, blurts out so everybody can hear, "Stick my finger in your ass?"
She turns around and says, "WHAT!?"
He says, "It`s freaking pouring outside."
- Breast fed or bottle fed ! A woman and a baby came into the doctor`s office. She was told to go into a room and wait for the doctor. He examines the baby and asks the woman, 'Is he breast...
- Porky ! A little girl was leading her dog through the park when an old man stopped her, saying, 'That`s sure a pretty dress you`re wearing.'
The little girl smiled, 'Thank you, Sir. My mama bought it for me. This is my dog Porky.'
The old man chuckled, 'I`ll bet a nickel I can... - Watch your words ! Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass.
He says, 'How`d you get a cork in your ass?'
The other guy says, 'I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp.There was a puff... - Stop that ! Edward Lear, the 19th century English landscape painter, wrote affectionately of a favorite Duchess who gave enormous dinner parties attended by the cream of society.
One night she let out a ripper of a fart and quick as a flash, she turned her gaze to her stoic butler, standing, as... - Dating woes ! This guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist 'Listen, I have 3 girls coming over tonight. I never had 3 girls at once, I need something to keep me horny, keep me potent.'
So the pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small black card-board box marked with an 'X'...
