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LOVE: When intercourse is called "making love."
LUST: When intercourse is called "screwing."
MARRIAGE: When intercourse is a town in Pennsylvania.
LOVE: When you share everything you own.
LUST: When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE: When the bank owns everything.
LOVE: When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST: When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE: When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.
LOVE: When you write poems about your partner.
LUST: When all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE: When all you write is checks.
LOVE: When your only concern is your partner`s feelings.
LUST: When your only concern is to find a room with mirrors everywhere.
MARRIAGE: When you`re only concern is what`s on TV.
LOVE: When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST: When the songs on the radio determine how you should do it.
MARRIAGE: When you listen to talk radio.
LOVE: When you`re only interested in doing things WITH your partner.
LUST: When you`re only interested in doing things TO your partner.
MARRIAGE: When you`re only interested in your golf score.
LOVE: You only leave the house to buy coffee and donuts.
LUST: You only leave the house to buy condoms and Vaseline.
MARRIAGE: You only leave the house when you`re allowed.
- Heavenly tunnel! The Russians are proposing to construct a tunnel under the 25 mile-wide Bering Strait that separates Russia from Alaska.
- Cell Phone... A group of men are sitting in a sauna discussing business and stocks when suddenly a cellular phone rings.
'Hi honey, are you at the club?' - VENTRILOQUIST COWBOY A ventriloquist cowboy walked into town and saw a rancher sitting on his porch with his dog:
Cowboy: 'Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?' - Making a sandwich! A little boy and his mom go to the zoo one day. They`re walking around and looking at the animals they come to the monkey cage, where two monkeys are mating. The little boy asks: 'Mom, what are they doing?'
- Sperm Bank... A guy in a mask bursts into a sperm bank with a shotgun. 'Open the safe,' he yells at the girl behind the counter.
