| Luiggi walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe store twice every day. Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Armani leather shoes. He wants those shoes so much... it's all he can think about. After about 2 months he saves the price of the shoes, $300, and purchases them. Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance in the church basement. Luiggi seizes this opportunity to wear his new Armani leather shoes for the first time. He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her, "Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?" Startled, Sophia replies, "Yes, Luiggi, I do wear red panties tonight, but how do you know?" Luiggi answers, "I see the reflection in my new $300 Armani leather shoes. How do you like them?" Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he asks, "Rosa, do you wear white panties tonight?" Rosa answers, "Yes, Luiggi, I do, but how do you know that?" He replies, "I see the reflection in my new $300 Armani leather shoes... How do you like them?" Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played, Luiggi asks Carmela to dance. Midway through the dance his face turns red... he states, "Carmela, be stilla my heart, please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight, please, please, tella me this true!" Carmela smiles coyly and answers, "Yes Luiggi, I wear no panties tonight..." Luiggi gasps, "Thanka God... I thought I had a CRACK in my $300 Armani leather shoes." |
| An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Margaret looked him over, "Nope." Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?" Margaret looked up and exclaimed, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!" Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?" "Nope," she replied. "IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!" Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat." |