| The FEMALE always makes THE RULES. THE RULES are subject to change without prior notice. No MALE can possibly know all THE RULES. If the FEMALE suspects the MALE to know all THE RULES, She must immediately change some or all THE RULES. The Female is never wrong. If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said. The male must apologise immediately for causing said misunderstanding. The MALE must never change his mind without the express written consent of the FEMALE. The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time. The MALE must remain calm at all times, Unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry and/or upset. The MALE is expected to mind read at all times. The MALE who does not abide by THE RULES can not take the heat, lacks backbone, is a wimp. Any attempt to document the RULES could result in bodily harm. If the FEMALE has P.M.S., all THE RULES may be null and void. The FEMALE is ready when she is ready, The MALE must be ready at all times. |
| My long-passed grandfather's birthday is coming up and for me it is a time to reminisce. We used to take long walks and drives together. He would make special trips to pick me up so I could spend weekends with him. I was young when he died. If he were living today and sharing his pearls of wisdom, I'd be a better man. The one I remember best came from him when I was only 12. We were sitting in a park, watching children with their mothers enjoying a beautiful spring day. He told me that one day, I'd find a woman and start my own family. Then came the jewel in the crown of grandfatherly advice when he said, "And be sure you marry a woman with small hands." "Why should I do that, Grandpa?" I asked. "It makes your pecker look bigger." It kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it? |