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A ventriloquist cowboy walked into town and saw a rancher sitting on his porch with his dog:
Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?"
Rancher: "This dog don`t talk!"
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how`s it going?"
Dog: "Doin alright"
Rancher: (Extreme look of shock)
Cowboy: "Is this your owner? (pointing at rancher)"
Dog: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How`s he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Rancher: (Look of disbelief)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Rancher: "Horses don`t talk!"
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how`s it goin?"
Horse: "Cool."
Rancher: (an even wilder look of shock)
Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at rancher)
Horse: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How`s he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Rancher: (total look of amazement)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your SHEEP?"
Rancher: (stuttering, and hardly able to talk) ...... "Th-Th-Them sheep ain`t nothin but liars!!!"
- Sperm Bank... A guy in a mask bursts into a sperm bank with a shotgun. 'Open the safe,' he yells at the girl behind the counter.
- Santa Claus` Qs & As ! Q: Why do reindeer have red noses? A: They are not equipped with ABS and thus tend to bump into things on slippery surfaces. This is why Santa is often seen with a red nose (the sleigh doesn`t have an airbag, either).
- They got my girlfriend, too!!! Santa walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches. 'Can I help you, Sir?'
- Guide Dog! A blind man was out with his guide dog one day when they stopped to cross the road. The dog promptly pissed on the blind man`s leg. The blind man then put his hand in his pocket and took out a biscuit. He then leaned down to the dog to give him the biscuit.
- Drown the bastard ! One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of the sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs, the bee entered her vagina. The woman startedscreaming, 'Oh my God, help me, there s a bee in my vagina!'
