| A guy met this girl in a bar and asked, "May I buy you a drink?" Looking back unimpressed at the man she replies, "Okay, but it won't do you any good." A little later, he asks, "May I buy you another drink?" "Okay, but it still won't do you any good." He invites her up to his apartment and she replies, "Okay, but it won't do you any good." They get to his apartment and he says, "You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I want you for my wife." She says, "Oh, that's different. Send her in." |
| A salesman, who getting ready for his next trip, asks his wife to include a condom in his suitcase. His wife instantly asks, "Why???" He replies, "Just a reminder of the bad things out there, in case I want to try something different." She grabs a bar of soap, drops it into one of his socks, swings it in the air, and WHAM !!!! swings it up between his balls..... After much pain, and gathering his composure, asks.... "Why the hell did you do that?" She replies, "Just a reminder of the bad things out there, in case you want to try something different." |
| After hearing a couple's complaints that their intimate life wasn't what it used to be, the sex counselor suggested that they vary their positions. "For example," he suggested, "you might try the wheel barrel. Lift her legs from behind and off you go." The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as they got home. "Well, okay," the hesitant wife agreed, "but on two conditions - First, if it hurts, you will stop right away. And second," she continued, "you have to promise we won't go past my mother's house." |