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A visiting professor at the University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?"
About 50 students raise their hands.
"Well that`s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you`ve ever seen a ghost?"
About 35 students raise their hands.
"That`s really good. I`m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"
20 students raise their hands.
"That`s a great response. Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"
5 students raise their hands.
"That`s fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?
Banta in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished. He takes off glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I`ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You`ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
Banta replies with a nod and begins to make his way up to the podium.
The professor says, "Well, tell us what it`s like to have sex with a ghost." Banta replies, "Ghost !!!!, I thought you said "GOATS."
- Witch doctor After a few years of married life, Santa noticed that he is unable to perform. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works.
Finally the doctor says to him: 'This is all in your mind' and refers Santa to a psychiatrist.
After a few visits, the shrink confesses: 'I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured.'
Finally the psychiatrist refers Santa to... - The Worst Pain Santa goes into emergency with his testicles just hanging by a few bits of skin.
The doctor said to Santa, 'What ever happened to you, it must have been very painful!'
Santa explains, 'While hunting in the bush I needed to go to the bathroom for the heavy duty job. As I squatted down, I didn`t see the `bear trap` and... - You know where... Santa is talking long-distance to California when all of a sudden he gets cut off.
He hollers, 'Operator, give me back the party!'
She says, 'I`m sorry sir, you`ll have to make the call all over again.'
Santa says, 'What do you want from my life? Give me back the party.'
She says... - I need a man Banta, 'Doctor, please help me! My wife just isn`t interested in sex anymore. Haven`t you got a pill or something I can give her?'
Doctor, 'Look, I can`t prescribe...'
Banta, 'Doctor, we`ve been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I`m desperate! I can`t think; I can`t concentrate; my life is going utterly to hell! You`ve got to... - Heart attack The medics rushed Banta to the hospital in the middle of the night, apparently with a massive heart attack. The doctors work on him all night and morning and finally discharge him to ICU, where therapy continues.
After a couple of days, Banta`s physician comes into his room and says, 'I`m happy to tell you that you are completely well. You have the...