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Things go wrong as they sometimes will, grab your stamp and stick the bill...
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Always think positive! The reason why you should see the silver lining in every dark cloud....
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Self cleaning? Probably they should have something for those who love the blow-job.
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Cards for losers! A sample of the greeting cards for the losers. You might be interested, at least for the inspiration.
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Deep down... You may be crafty, but you just can't beat the craftness of a drunk female until and unless she is a blonde. Or you must have a good face to make soemone interested beneath your beer-belly.
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Diamonds are forever... Diamonds were probably the inspiration for the inventor of a remote-control. How true?