| Banta has a cross-eyed bull that keeps bumping into things. He calls up to vet to try to remedy the problem. The vet says, "I think the best thing is to stick a pipe up his ass and blow real hard and the bulls' eyes will straighten out." The vet - a 70 year old man - inserts the pipe and blows. The bulls' eyes begin to straighten, but the vet soon looses his breath and the bulls' eyes are crossed again. The vet gives it another try, but looses his breath again. The vet looks at Banta and says, "You look like a strong man, why don't you give it a try." Banta agrees. He then takes the pipe out of the bulls' ass, turns it around, and sticks it back in. He then begins to blow. "Shit!!!" says the vet. "What in the hell did you do that for?" Banta replies, "You don't think I am going to put my mouth on the same end of the pipe that you had your on." |
| Banta had a bull that he was quite proud of. One day he looked at the bull and noticed his eyes were crossed. That was disconcerting, because he knew he couldn't get huge stud fees for a defective bull. He called the local vet who came right over. The vet assured him he could solve the problem. "Banta, you stand in front of the bull and watch his eyes. I will insert this straw into the bull's rectum and blow. When the eyes uncross, yell stop." The vet did just that, and sure enough after a few minutes of blowing, the eyes uncrossed. Banta was thrilled. Several months pass and again he sees the eyes cross. He says to himself, "I better call the vet. No, wait a minute. Last time I called the vet, he charged me 1000 bucks for something that only took a few moments. I will do it myself." He went to the barn and called his trusty farm hand, Santa. "Santa, we have a problem here and this is what I want you to do. I will put this straw in the rear of my bull and blow. You watch his eyes, and when they uncross, tell me and I will stop blowing." Banta started blowing and blowing and nothing happened. Finally, he said, "You know, maybe I am not strong enough. Lets trade positions and you blow and I will watch." Santa went over to the bull, pulled out the straw, turned it around and reinserted it. "What the hell are you doing, Santa?" says Banta. "What do you think? I ain't blowing on the same end that you did!" |
Loo Tongs! Preeto was giving an upper-crust party and had hired Rupa, a girl recently come to Chandigarh from a remote village, as a maid. As Rupa was setting up the tea service... 
Perfect Woman! Sunny is almost 35 years old, his friends have already gotten married, and Sunny just dates and dates. Finally a friend asks him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman... 
Entry to Heaven "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday School class... 
Health Minister The health minister is visiting a psychiatric ward. He asks the head of psychology, "How do you determine if a patient is cured." The psychologist explains... 
Outhouse Hole Santa and his wife, Jeeto, were living in a farm up in the hills. One day, Santa found that the hole under the outhouse is full. He tells Jeeto that he doesn't know what to... 
