| Through the center of Lahore there is the new Indo-Pak train speeding along (Samjhuata Express or whatever) which goes between India and Pakistan. In one compartment of the train there are four people. A beautiful vivacious young woman, an old matronly woman, a Pakistani soldier, and our own Santa. Suddenly the train goes through a tunnel. It is completely dark. Then is heard a loud kiss and an equally powerful slap. When the train exits the tunnel, the Pakistani soldier is holding the side of his face, and Santa is grinning his face off. The old matronly woman thinks : "Now that is a fine young woman, the Pakistani soldier tries to steal a kiss in the tunnel and the lady slaps him one!" The young woman is thinking : "Now that is a strange Pakistani soldier, he`d rather kiss that old hag than me." The Pakistani soldier is thinking : "Now that is a smart Indian, he steals the kiss and I get slapped." And Santa is thinking : "Gee I am smart! We go through the tunnel, I kiss the back of my hand and get away with slapping a Pakistani soldier." |
| A man with no arms walked up to a bar and asked for a beer. Santa, the bartender, shoved the foaming glass in front of him. "Look," said the customer, "I have no arms - would you please hold the glass up to my mouth?" "Sure", said Santa, and he did. "Now," said the customer, "I wonder if you`d be so kind as to get my handkerchief out of my pocket and wipe the foam off my mouth." "Certainly." And it was done. "If," said the armless man, "you`d reach in my right hand pants pocket, you`ll find the money for the beer." Santa got it. "You`ve been very kind," said the customer. "Just one thing more. Where is the men`s room?" "Out the door," said Santa, "turn left, walk two blocks, and there`s one in a filling station on the corner." |