Perception of Sex

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    Woman 1: I had sex last night, did you?

    Woman 2: Yes.

    Woman 1: Was it good?

    Woman 2: No, it was a disaster... My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?

    Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!

    At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.

    Husband 1: You wanted sex last night, how was it?

    Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, and I ate, screwed my wife and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?

    Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour; and when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had to light fucking candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it up for an hour and then I couldn't come for another hour. After I finally did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!
  • Chinese Medicine A rich man often went to Bangkok for the night life and before long he contracted sexual disease. So, he went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor examines his private part...
  • French Toast Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he'd like to eat.
    "I'll have some f*ckin'...
  • Anal Suppository A man with a bad stomach complaint goes to his local doctor and asks him what he can do. The doctor replies that the illness is quite serious but can be cured with a small...
  • Suck and Identify Hitler conquering another village while WW2 and he decided to give a chance for every woman in this village to save their families. He made all men to stand naked...
  • Fondling in Bed After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the woman felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers...
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