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    A Marine walks in the restroom and sees a Sailor standing at the urinal, fussing with the thirteen buttons on his pants.
    The Marine says, "It must be a pain in the ass to have to mess with all those buttons every time you have to pee."
    The sailor replies, "Yes it is! If I were a Marine, all I d have to do is take off my hat."
  • Jewish Rules Jewish Rules 1. Never take a front-row seat at a bris.
    2. If you can t say something nice, say it in Yiddish.
    3. The High Holidays have nothing to do with marijuana.
    4. Always whisper the names of diseases.
    and many more.....
  • Landing Problem Once Santa and Banta try to land an airplane in the States. They start descending and as they touch the ground Santa screams, the runway is ending...'.
    Banta swiftly gets the plane back up in the air... They make a big turn and start descending again. The moment they touch the ground, Santa screams again 'Get the plane up, the runaway is ending
  • Safe custoday Once a divorce case was being settled in court and the Judge asked the little kid of the couple, 'Little boy, would you like to stay with your father!'The kid said, 'No he beats me everyday!'The judge asked him, 'So you want to stay with...
  • Reflections Once Santa is traveling by train. On his way, he feels the urge to go to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which happens to have a mirror in the front. The Santa thinks there is someone in there, quickly shuts the door and returns to his seat.
    5 minutes later he goes again, only to find the same person there. An hour passes away, he has made 20 trips to the bathroom
  • The missing link ... Having lost his donkey, Santa got down to his knees and started thanking God.
    A passerby saw him and asked, 'Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?'
    Santa replied 'I am thanking Him for seeing
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