•  

    A man spent a weekend gambling in Las Vegas casinos, and he won $100,000.

    He didn't want anyone to know about it, so when he came back home, he immediately went out to the backyard of his house, dug a hole and planted the money in it.

    The next morning he walked outside and found only an empty hole. He noticed footsteps leading from the hole to the house next door, which was owned by a deaf-mute. On the same street lived a professor who understood sign language and was a friend of the deaf man. Grabbing his pistol, the enraged man went to awaken the professor and dragged him to the deaf man's house.

    He screamed at the professor, "You tell this guy that if he doesn't give me back my money I'll kill him!"

    The professor conveyed the message to his friend, and his friend replied in sign language, "I hid it in my backyard, underneath the cherry tree."

    The professor turned to the man with the gun and said, "He's not going to tell you. He said he'd rather die first."
  • Sleeping Problems An exhausted looking blonde dragged herself in to the doctor's office.
    "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep...
  • Blind Pilots Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilots' uniforms--both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other...
  • The Angry Genie One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger.
    A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp...
  • The Mystery Play A man arrives at the theater to see the latest production only to learn that it is completely sold out.
    He finds an usher and pleads with him, "You must help me, I am a huge...
  • The Last Chicken A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish. By the time the food is ready and he is about to eat, the waiter comes back and says...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT