•  

    The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

    The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Little Johnny was left.

    "Johnny, do you have a story to share?"

    "Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down, so the bottle wouldn't break. And then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.

    She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, She killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

    "Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

    "Don't fuck with Mommy when she's been drinking!!!"
  • Don't Step on the Ducks Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks...
  • Two buddies in a Bar Santa and Banta, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Banta throws up all over himself.
    "Oh, no," he gasps," Preeto will kill me!!"
    "Don't worry...
  • Smartness Vs Intelligence Einstein and Banta are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
    Einstein says, "Let's play a game. I will ask you a question. If you don't know the answer, you pay me...
  • Satan in Church A few minutes before the services started, the church people were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and...
  • The New Walmart Greeter Charley, a new retiree greeter at Walmart, just couldn''t seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, even 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-mind, a real...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT