California Examiner, March 20, 1998:

  •  

    Fire Authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with a dive tank, flippers, and facemask. A post mortem examination revealed that the person died not from burns but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about determining how a fully-clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that, on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the coast-some 20 miles away from the forest. The firefighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large buckets. The buckets were dropped into the ocean for rapid filling, then flown to the forest fire and emptied. You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next he was doing a breaststroke in a fire bucket 300 feet in the air. Apparently, he extinguished exactly 5`10" of the fire.
  • Pa(i)nting blonde! This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to...
  • That problem... Two psychiatrists were at a convention. As they conversed over a drink, one asked, 'What was your most difficult case?' The other replied, 'I had a patient who...
  • Weight problem... Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model in her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. The reminder worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had...
  • Coffee break? The young clerk`s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning, the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full.
    The clerk explained that he had...
  • Attractive wife? Morris was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT