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    After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.

    Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

    When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."

    "Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
  • Wife or Mistress ? An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife...
  • Wife's Revenge "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set...
  • Emergency Call A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
    "We need a fourth for poker," said the friend...
  • The doctor and the plumber A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber.
    The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did some mysterious plumber-type things for a while...
  • Puking Captain A merchant captain and several of his officers were returning to the ship after an evening of partying ashore. As they climbed the gangway, the captain threw up all over himself...
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