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    When my printer's type began to grow faint, I called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.

    Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told me, I might be better off reading the printer's manual and trying the job myself.

    Pleasantly surprised by his candor, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"

    "Actually, it's my boss's idea," the employee replied sheepishly. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first."
  • The Final Journey The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the Devil! Let him know how little you...
  • Chocolate-Chip Cookies Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in Maine, I was stopped by a state trooper in New York for exceeding the speed limit. Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket...
  • Words of Wisdom Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater. If you give her a sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home...
  • Full Bed Bath The nursing student, on her first rotation in the ICU, had to give a patient a full bed bath. She had never given one before and was terribly nervous about it. To make matters worse, the patient was...
  • Paper Thin Walls As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the base where he was working. Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no...
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