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    "Mommy, my turtle is dead," the little boy, Johnny, sorrowfully told his mother, holding the turtle out to her in his hand.

    The mother kissed him on the head, then said, "That's all right. We'll wrap him in tissue paper, put him in a little box, then have a nice burial ceremony in the back yard. After that, we'll go out for an ice cream soda, and then get you a new pet."

    "Ice cream?" the little boy said, wiping his tears and smiling, "Oh! Boy!"

    His mother said, "I don't want you..."

    Her voice trailed off as she noticed the turtle move, "Johnny, you're turtle is not dead after all."

    "Oh," the disappointed boy said. "Can I kill it?"
  • The Biggest Lie The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned the boys were hurting the dog, the reverend went over and asked, "What are you doing with that dog?"
    One of the boys replied...
  • The Freshman The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team.

    "Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
    "Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run...
  • Checking Meters Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley...
  • Crowded Bus A man was riding on a crowded bus, standing room only. The bus stopped and an elderly lady got on carrying a large picnic basket. She stood right in front of the man and grabbed...
  • Cow on the Tracks A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.
    "What’s going on...
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