•  

    A drunk in a bar pukes all over his own shirt, which was brand new before he came in.

    "Damn," he says. "I puked on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, she's gonna kill me."

    "Not to worry," says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk's pocket. "Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill."

    So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties.

    "Why are there two twenties?" she asks.

    The drunk replies, "Oh, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too."
  • Ten Best Remarks by a Caddie 10. Golfer: Think I`m going to drown myself in the lake.
    Caddy: Think you can keep your head down that long?
    9. Golfer: I`d move heaven and earth...
  • Hungry Snake! Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who...
  • Official Visit! A newly appointed health minister of a northern state whose knowledge of English was somewhat elementary was on his first official visit to the largest hospital...
  • Definitions of Designations Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
    Consultant is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver...
  • Little Johnny Farts in Class Little Johnny farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out. He goes and sits outside the class and cant...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT