Squirrels' Nuts

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    During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general.

    "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"

    "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But When two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the one say, 'Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it."
  • Stunt Driver!!! The car sped off the highway, went through the guardrail, rolled down a cliff, bounced off a tree and finally shuddered to a stop. A passing motorist, who had witnessed...
  • Because Because Because Someone was at a party when he started boasting to the local journalists that his command of English language was better than that of the average journalist`s...
  • Talking to the Dead A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic`s eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands...
  • Interview with Chris Gayle's son Beta, which standard are you in?
    -SIX
    And how far is your school...
  • A Great Physician A young woman wasn`t feeling well, and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician.
    "I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive...
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