| A woman in her fifties went to see a plastic surgeon. "What can you do for me?" she asked. "Well," said the surgeon, "it depends how much you are prepared to pay. You have bags under your eyes- I can remove those for you. And you have crow's feet around your eyes- I can tighten the skin up there." "I want more than that." "Well, you've got a few wrinkles on your forehead - I can pull that tight. Also, your jowls droop down - I can sort that out." "I still want more - money is no object." "In that case, I can give you the full treatment from the neck up. I can fix your double chin. Your neck and throat are bit baggy - I can pull that tight. As an extra, I'll put a small screw in the back of your neck beneath your hair. When your wrinkle start to reappear, all you have to do is come in and I'll tighten the screw a little. That will tighten your skin right up." The woman had the work done and looked great. But ten months later, she called on the surgeon in a state of high anxiety. "Doctor, see these huge bags under my eyes? They've never been this bad before. You must do something about them!" "Madam," replied the surgeon, "those aren't bags - they're your breasts. And if you don't stop turning that screw, you're going to end up with a goatee!" |