The Polite Way to Pee...

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    During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

    "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

    Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."

    The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"

    Sherman said, "'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

    "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, Little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"

    Johnny said, "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner."

    The teacher fainted...
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    2. The Pessimist: Oh No, Oh No, Oh No...... !!!
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    "Did you get that for your birthday?" asked Johnny.
    "Nope," replied Jimmy...
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