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    A guy went into a public washroom and had to use the only available urinal, which was between two elderly men. He glanced to his left and saw the guy pissing, but there were two streams.

    "What the hell is that?" he asked.

    "War wound. I took a bullet in the penis in North Africa. They were able to save my dick but they had to leave two holes."

    Then the guy looked to his right and saw three streams. "What the hell is that?"

    "War wound. Germany, bullet in the penis, left three holes."

    The two veterans then looked over at the guy in the middle and saw 12 streams!

    "War wound?" they both asked.

    "Naah, my zipper's stuck."
  • Helping a Lady Patient! A doctor wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant.
    "Paddy, I am going hunting tomorrow. I don`t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care...
  • Life is PORNOGRAPHY Virginity is like a Balloon, one prick and it`s gone for ever!
    Sex is like a pack of Chips, once you start, you can`t stop!
    An Exam paper is like a Dick, when it`s hard...
  • A Matter of Degrees Two old drunks were drinking up at a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn`t bend my dick with both hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it...
  • Hypnosis Success A Woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I`ve been having all these years? Well, they`re gone."
    "No more headaches?" the husband asks...
  • No Sharing Please An Australian is walking across the Welsh countryside when he spots a Welshman in one of the fields, going hard at it with one of his sheep.

    With no hesitation, the man jumps over the fence and walks over to the Welshman, tapping him on the shoulder.

    "You know mate, back where I'm from, we shear those."

    The Welshman looks around frantically.

    "Fuck off mate!" he says, "I`m not sharing this with no-one!"
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