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    While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old veteran, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate of the military hospital, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to generals and their role as our leaders.

    The old veteran said, "Well, as I see it, most generals are 'Post Turtles'.''

    Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'Post Turtle' was.

    The old veteran said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle."

    The old veteran saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain.

    "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, he's elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dumb arse put him up there to begin with."
  • Perfect Answer The skydiving instructor was going through the question-and-answer period with his new students when one of them asked the usual question:

    If our chute doesn`t open; and the reserve doesn`t open, how long would we have till we hit the ground?

    The jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan answered:
    The rest of your life.
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    Law of equality: The time taken by a wife when she says I`ll get ready in 5 minutes is exactly equal to...
  • A Gujarati Funeral A family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Ba) arrived from the US. It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside...
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