The Right Words

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    A man was shopping in the men's department at Bloomingdale's when he noticed an absolutely beautiful woman behind the sales counter.

    He went up to her and said, "Good morning, madam."

    She smiled pleasantly and asked, "And what would you like?"

    The man said, "I'd like to wrap my arms around you and squeeze you tight. Then run my hand up and down your bottom and squeeze that. Then run my hands along your inner thighs, up underneath your dress. When I get to your sweet womanhood, I'd like to rub that while simultaneously unbuttoning your blouse with my teeth and then suck on your beautiful breasts and bite your nipples lightly...... That's what I'd like but What I Need is a new tie!"
  • First Thing to do after Jail Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the car. The only thing he said was...
  • Just Married!!! A man met a beautiful blonde lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, "But we don`t know anything about each other.
    He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go...
  • You Get What You Pay For A guy is walking down the street, and he`s really horny. So he goes to the first whorehouse he sees. He only has five dollars, so they kick him out. The guy goes to the next one. But since he only has...
  • Hard & Soft A man, very much on the make for his secretary, wined her and dined her. He finally succeeded in getting her to his apartment, where he whispered sweet promises into her ear while he began to unbutton her blouse...
  • Divorce Couple A newly wed couple went to their lawyer to get themselves a divorce.

    The lawyer wondered dat why do they want a divorce wen they are both good looking & newly wed. So he took both of them into seperate rooms...
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