Think Before You Speak

  •  

    Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole?
    Here are the testimonials of a few people who did....

    1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
    I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

    2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
    He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

    3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.
    As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
    I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
    My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

    4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.
    To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
    The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
  • Pathan Aur Shadi Ek Pathan Ki Shadi Thi Magar Usey Kuch Pata Nahi Yha. Us Ka Dost Usey Apney Ghar Le Gaya Aur Apne Bedroom Mein Almari Ke Uppar Baitha Diya Aur Kaha Ke Yahan Baith Kar Dekho Ki Main Kaise Karta Hun...
  • Chick With a Big Butt & Long Legs A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What`s yours?"
    "I`ll have the same...
  • A Well-Argued Court Case The beauty of a language and the art of constructing the words of the language significantly lead to their meaning. This is not a case of twisting, but of the refined manner of presentation by witty minds...
  • Could've been Worse! Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, "It could have been worse".
    To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided...
  • The Origin of Yodelling Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland. Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT