| On being told that someone has purchased a new car, women ask what color it is. Men ask what the make and model are. Men have no opinions whatsoever on curtains. Ask for directions from a woman out and about, and she will give you landmarks by shopping stores. Men will give you landmarks by restaurants and pubs. Men appreciate the importance of a 42-inch plasma screen. Women can use sex to get what they want. Men can't because, well, what they want is sex. Men speak in sentences. Women speak in paragraphs. At weddings, women cry and then drink too much. Men drink too much, and then cry. Men can balance an infinite amount of trash in the garbage can without ever noticing it's full. Women know when all you want to do is get it off your shoulders and whine. Men always offer a solution. Women enjoy planning a wedding. Men enjoy just getting it over with. Women know what to do when someone starts to cry. Men just shuffle out of the room, mumbling something about the grouting. Men can watch an entire movie without having to ask "Who is that, and what did he do?" A man can choose and purchase - in 90 seconds - a pair of shoes. Women can remember every outfit they wore for the past decade. Men cannot remember what they wore yesterday without looking at the floor next to the bed. |