Nature Lover!!!

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    While walking through the park, a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree.

    Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?"

    "I'm listening to the music of the tree,' the other man replied.

    "You've gotta be kiddin' me."

    "No, would you like to give it a try?"

    Understandably curious, the man says, "Well, OK..." So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it. With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewellry, car keys, then stripped him naked and left.

    Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked, "What the heck happened to you?"

    He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there.

    When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and said, "This just ain't gonna be your day, cupcake..."
  • Male PMS John and Brian are out and about. John notices that Brian is a bit pissy during the evening, so he finally brings up. "Yo, man, you`ve been cranky all damned day. What the hell is wrong with you. You`re acting like...
  • Celebrating 80th Birthday An old man said to his doctor, "Doc, tomorrow`s my eightieth birthday. I want to do it just one more time before I die, so I`ve hired a hooker for the night. Can you give me something to get it up?"
    The doctor smiled, "Normally, I don`t prescribe...
  • Booze, Fighting and Wild Sex... Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Vermont as far from humanity as possible. Sam sees the postman once a week and gets...
  • Marital Aids Shop A little old lady with blue hair entered the marital aids shop and asked in a quavering voice, "Yy-young man, dd-do y-you sell d-dil-ldoes h-here?"
    The salesman, somewhat taken aback by the little old lady`s appearance in his shop, answered...
  • Buying a Bra A married man thought he would give his wife a birthday surprise by buying her a bra. He entered a ladies shop, rather intimidated, but the salesgirls took charge to help him.
    "What colour?" she asked.
    He settled for white....
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