•  

    I boarded the train and took my seat. The seat next to me was empty, but not for long. A mother boarded with her 5-year-old daughter sat down in the seat beside me. I offered my seat to the little girl but Mom said no, she'd sit the young one on her lap.

    So here I am holding my roses, now with a little lady straining to see what I was holding.

    "What ya got, mister?" she asked.
    (Mom is getting a bit flustered and tells her to mind her business.)

    I leaned the "package" over a bit and she looks and says loudly, "Ohhhh, ROSES!, who are they for?"
    (Now, Mom is embarrassed and tapping her on the rear telling her to sit down.)

    I said, "They're for my girlfriend."

    She says again with a loud voice, "WOW, pretty RED ones, and a lot of them, too! Man, you really must have f***ed up!"

    Needless to say, nearly everyone on the train was in stitches, except her Mom, who was now desperately trying to assume an innocent shade of invisible.
  • Happy New Year! The horse and the mule live for 30 years,
    And know nothing of wines and beers.
    The goat and sheep at 20 die,
    And never get a taste of Scotch and rye...
  • 50th Wedding Anniversary A couple were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all grown and very successful, agreed to attend a Sunday dinner in their honor.
    "Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number One...
  • New Year's Resolutions Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point...
  • Diabetes Urine Test The other day I visited my local superstore. When I got there, I went straight to the back of the store to where the pharmacist`s counter is located. I took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both...
  • Grandma's Cruise The children and grand children of an elderly Jewish woman decided to send grandma on a cruise. Grandma boarded the ship and showed her ticket to the purser. He looked at it and said, "Oh, I see you have...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT