| Lady Crofton-Smythe was giving an upper-crust party, and had hired Lena, a girl recently come to London from County Cork, as a maid. As Lena was setting up the tea service, Lady C-S told her to be certain that there were sugar tongs available. Lena had never heard of sugar tongs, and asked the Lady what they were and why they were used. Lady C-S, always happy to Enlighten the Unenlightened, told Lena that the problem lay with the gentlemen, who would go to the loo, and to do what they needed to do, had to touch things which were less than acceptably sanitary. Yes, even the Nobility was subject to this masculine frailty. "Sure, Ma'am, 'twas nothing like this Oi ever saw in Ireland," Lena said, impressed. "Well, the Irish will learn manners someday, Lena," said the Lady, with an instinctive lifting of her nose. After the guests had begun arriving that evening, Lady C-S was dismayed and infuriated not to see any sugar tongs on the tea service. Lena, trembling, came quickly in answer to the Lady's angry shout. "But... but, m'Lady, sure, an' Oi put the tongs out just as you told me to." Her furious employer pointed to the tea table, devoid of tongs. "Then where are they, young woman?" "Why, they're in the loo, of course." |