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    Although I had never met him, I knew that my grandfather had been five feet, six inches tall, while my stately grandmother stood five feet, eleven inches.

    As a teen-ager leafing through old photographs with Grandma, I finally realized how unusual they must have looked together.

    "Grandma," I asked, "how could you have fallen in love a man five inches shorter than you?"

    She turned to me. "Honey," she said, "we fell in love sitting down, and when I stood up, it was too late."
  • How High Will They Go ? A kangaroo at the Sydney zoo kept getting out of his enclosure every night. Knowing that mature kangaroos could hop very high, the zoo officials replaced the eight-foot fence with a ten-foot fence. He was out...
  • A Genuine Blonde A blonde went into a pet shop and asked the owner if he had any parrots. The owner replied, "Sorry, I don`t have any at the moment."
    "Damn!" said the blonde, "I`ve been invited to a fancy masquerade party...
  • No Longer a Virgin Pauly`s family is at dinner, the 10-year-old daughter isn`t eating much, and she just keeps her head down. After a few minutes, she says, "I have something to tell you." Everyone gets silent...
  • What a Hoot! Each evening bird-lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl. One night, an owl called back to him. For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the conversation....
  • Pissing and Moaning! An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called... and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned...