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    A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of boots she loves.

    The husband says, "No chance love, they're far too expensive."

    Later on in bed the wife is just falling asleep when the husband tries his luck and places his hand on her hip and then lower onto her thigh.

    She turns to him and says, "I don't think so mate. If you're not prepared to shoe the horse, then you sure as hell ain't riding it!"
  • Never Up! A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. After the husband had finally had enough, he jumped up and took a blanket to the couch. The next day, the wife feeling badly about what happened, decided to buy her husband...
  • Heh! Manuel! `Ow are you?"
    "Verrry wella. `Ow are you, Pepe?"
    "Soooo happy! I am married, my wife is da mosta beautifool woooman in da world! She cooksa mosta tasty chillie, she isa da besta `ousekeeper...
  • Hawaiian Vacation A synagogue honors its Rabbi for a quarter-century of service by sending him to Hawaii on a well-deserved vacation, all expenses paid. The President of the synagogue decides that in addition to the trip, the Rabbi should have fun...
  • Toffee Apple A man with a completely bald head and only one leg is invited to a Halloween Costume Party. He doesn`t know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain...
  • Nobody's Around Once, there was a man who was upset by his past deeds that he decided to visit a church and confess all of his sins. When he arrived at the church, he walked to the confession area and spoke to the pastor...
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