It's Not The Meat

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    Harry was delighted when he found a young woman who accepted his proposal of marriage as he was sensitive about his wooden leg and a bit afraid no one would have him.

    In fact, he couldn't bring himself to tell his fiancee' about his leg when he slipped the ring on her finger, nor when she bought the dress, nor when they picked the time and place.

    All he kept saying was, "Darling, I've got a big surprise for you," at which she blushed and smiled bewitchingly.

    The wedding night came and went and the young couple were at last alone in their hotel room.

    "Now don't forget, Harry, you promised me a big surprise," said the bride.

    Unable to say a word, Harry turned out the lights, unstrapped his wooden leg, slipped into bed, and placed his wife's hand on the stump.

    "Hmmmmmm," she said softly, "That IS a surprise. But pass me the Vaseline and I'll see what I can do!"
  • The Angel atop a Christmas Tree On Christmas Eve Santa Claus was getting ready for his annual trip. As he pulled his favorite pair of red pants on, they ripped. So, he had to take them off and put on another pair, which was a bit too tight. He then...
  • The Wedding Night! There was a virgin who was going to get married. She asked her mother if it hurt when you had sex. Her mother said not really, but to help you can use Vaseline. So the virgin goes and buys a jar and puts it in her suitcase..
  • Data Retrieval Tom was in Las Vegas gambling and having a run of bad luck. He lost all his money and was now waiting for his bank to wire him some more. He was on his way up to his hotel room when he meets a beautiful hooker...
  • Big Shame Little Johnny was supposed to bring fifty cents to school for a workbook, so he went to ask his father for it. He found him in the bathroom, stark naked, and in the excitement he forgot all about the fifty cents and asked...
  • A Blowjob in the Car I was driving into the old historic section of town and found Tim, one of the bartenders at The River City Grill curled up on a curb alongside the road in tears. I stopped the car and hollered over to him...
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