| Mum is working in the kitchen when Dad enters for the first time in the mood in years. "Mum... get into bed," he says. She takes off her apron, puts all the ingredients and utensils away, washes her hands, takes off her undies gets on the bed, but all too late. Dad has withered away. "Yer know Mum... we can't 'ave this 'appen agin," says Dad. "Next time I git one of these, I'll ring the firebell so you start gittin' ready when youse hears it. When I git to the house with it, we'll be right to go." Months go by. Mum's in the kitchen, when suddenly she hears the firebell. She goes through all the preparations real quick! Dad comes pounding into the house in his big boots, through the kitchen, into the bedroom where Mum lies waiting for him, legs wide apart, feet in the air. He looks at her and says, "Get up, yer silly old oversexed cow... the bloody barn's on fire!" |