Speaking English Kills You

  •  

    For those of you who watch what you eat. Here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.

    1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

    2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

    3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

    4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

    5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.

    CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
  • Toilet - A Marital Problem I recently had an arranged marriage and brought my wife home. But ever since she's come home, she`s been complaining of the Indian toilet in our house. She says she`s used to a Western toilet since childhood...
  • Where's My Goat? There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mine shaft. Curious about its depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing...
  • Good Qualities One day, Birbal was talking of a dinner he had eaten the day before. In doing so, he described brinjal (baingan) as be -gun i.e. without any good qualities. Akbar, who at the very moment was passing by...
  • Living With Sisters! The Matchmaker goes to see Mr. Avery, a confirmed bachelor for many years. "Mr. Avery, don`t leave it too late. I have exactly the one you need. You only have to say the word and you`ll meet and be married...
  • Military Personal Insurance Airman Jackson was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn`t long before Captain...
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT