You're On Fire

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    Colin meets a girl on the street. He says, "Come on, babe, let's go in the alleyway and get it on. I've got fifteen quid."

    She says, "Fifteen pounds? You're crazy. For fifteen quid, I'll let only you look at it."

    They go into the alleyway, she pulls down her pants, and he gets down on his knees. But he can't see anything, because it's too dark, so he gets out his lighter. He lights his lighter, and he says, "Oh my, your pubic hair... it's so curly and thick... it's beautiful."

    She says, "Thank you."

    He says, "You mind if I ask you a personal question?"

    She says, "Go ahead."

    He says, "Can you pee through all that hair?"

    She says, "Of course."

    He says, "Well, you better start. You're on fire."
  • Compassionate Leave A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops. One man he passed sported an enormous erection. "Sergeant-Major!" the colonel shouted. "Give this man 30 days compassionate home leave."
    "Yes sir...
  • A Sexual Problem Moanin` Mike is sitting in his local bar with his buddies, sharing a beer and bragging about his sex life. Moanin` says, "I have great sex with my wife. She`s very vocal, she can really rattle the windows...
  • What's a Penguin? A guy is walking down the street, and he`s really horny. So he goes to the first whore house he sees. He only has five dollars, so they kick him out. The guy goes to the next one. But, since he only has five dollars...
  • V Sweater It happened on the corner of Broadway and 47th Street. The girl leaned against the building, running her fingers through her bleached hair and smiling more than-casually at the male passers-by...
  • A Moment's Weakness A roving reporter from the BBC was touring a remote part of the Scottish Highlands looking for material for a documentary about the way of life there.
    REPORTER: Hello there, excuse me, I`m from the BBC and...
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