| Meanwhile in a normally quiet side street in London... What a morning......... 8:00 I made a snowman. 8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman. 8:15 I made a snow woman. 8:17 The nanny of the neighbours complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest. 8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snowmen instead. 8:25 The vegans at No. 12 complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with. 8:27 The Reverend from the local church says it's a pagan sign and such figures should have no place in a Christian country. 8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white. 8:31 The Muslim gent across the road wants the snow woman to wear a headscarf. 8:35 Mr. Shankar places flowers at the figure and insists a temple must be built there, and all Muslims & Christians should leave the street. 8:40 Someone calls the cops who show up to see what's going on. 8:42 I am told that the broomstick of the snowman needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon. Things get worse after I mutter: "Yeah, if it's up your A***" 8:52 My phone is seized and thoroughly checked while I am blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter. 9:00 I'm on the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble at this sensitive time. 9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices. 9:29 A little known jihadist group has claimed it was their plot. Done with this!!! I will never make a snowman, snow woman or snow whatever again. It's too dangerous!!!.... and I didn't even name it Padmavati. |