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    This guy comes back home from work to find his wife has left him a note "Off to the grocery store".

    He hasn't been "getting any" from her, so he decides this is his chance and goes to the video store to rent a porn flick. He puts the video in, and starts masturbating.

    He's about to climax when all of a sudden his wife comes in, drops her grocery bags, runs over and gives him the blowjob of his life.

    Then she collects all the bags and goes to the kitchen. The guy is sitting there, stunned, amazed at what just happened. After a couple of minutes he regroups and goes to the kitchen where he finds his wife chopping tomatoes.

    He asks her, "We haven't had sex for over five years and all of a sudden you come in and blow me. What happened?!"

    To which his wife replied, "I just washed the floor this morning. I would rather go brush my teeth than to have to clean the floor again."
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  • Bad Breath!!! One evening Ole and Sven are sitting in the bar getting drunk. Ole turns to Sven and asks, "Ven do you suppose dose girls are gonna make out vit us?"
    Sven says, "Donno, but I`m drunk enuf to go ask em...
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